Lozpak Spreadable
$9.99
Rich, creamy, and dangerously smoothâLozpak melts in your mouth and on whatever else you fancy. Slather, drizzle, or indulge straight from the tub⌠because good things are meant to be spread.
NOTE: Also available "Lightly Salted".đ
The Counter Toaster
$39.99
Sleek and built for perfect toast. But be warnedâit must stay on the counter. Store it away, and⌠well, letâs just say, you wonât like what happens next.
Lozvaxâ˘
$69.69
Suffering from Lozorrhea? The uncontrollable urge to misspell werds, twist evry sentence into an innuendo, and rendar normal conversations utterly inappropriate? Lozvax⢠is here to help.
Loz's Toe Wine
$420
Bold, twisted, and aged like your worst regrets, Toe Wine from Lozwillz is the only bottle that dares you to dip a toe inâliterally. Refined yet repulsive, this full-bodied abomination pairs well with poor decisions and deep, unshakable shame. Drink up. Or donât. Either way, itâs watching.
Essence of the Unwashed
$29.99 $19.99!
Bottled at the source, this cursed concoction smells like fermented despair and the existential dread of a thousand unread emails. Also available in lavender!
NOTE: We recommend ordering a box of Lozvax⢠with this product.
Luna Tuna
$5.99!
Inspired by the legendary lady of the night, Luna Star, this succulent delight is packed tight and ready to be devoured. Sleek, seductive, and always fresh, Luna Tuna guarantees a deep, satisfying experience with every indulgent taste. Taste the stars in every bite.