Cool 'n' Quiver
$49.99
Engineered for laptops, loved by laps, the Cool 'n' Quiver combines powerful cooling with just the right amount of strategic vibration. Whether battling thermal throttling or just feeling a little... tense, this sleek mat keeps your device cool while heating things up underneath.
Lozpak Spreadable
$9.99
Rich, creamy, and dangerously smooth—Lozpak melts in your mouth and on whatever else you fancy. Slather, drizzle, or indulge straight from the tub… because good things are meant to be spread.
NOTE: Also available "Lightly Salted".😉
The Counter Toaster
$39.99
Sleek and unapologetically minimalist, this striking purple toaster exists for one purpose: making toast. But be warned—it must remain on the counter at all times. Move it, stash it, or—heaven forbid—try to store it in a cupboard, and… well, let’s just say bad things have happened before. Toast wisely.
Lozvax™
$69.69
Suffering from Lozorrhea? The uncontrollable urge to misspell werds, twist evry sentence into an innuendo, and rendar normal conversations utterly inappropriate? Lozvax™ is here to help.
Loz's Toe Wine
$420
Bold, twisted, and aged like your worst regrets, Toe Wine from Lozwillz is the only bottle that dares you to dip a toe in—literally. Refined yet repulsive, this full-bodied abomination pairs well with poor decisions and deep, unshakable shame. Drink up. Or don’t. Either way, it’s watching.
Essence of the Unwashed
$29.99 $19.99!
Bottled at the source, this cursed concoction smells like fermented despair and the existential dread of a thousand unread emails. Also available in lavender!
NOTE: We recommend ordering a box of Lozvax™ with this product.
Luna Tuna
$5.99!
Inspired by the legendary lady of the night, Luna Star, this succulent delight is packed tight and ready to be devoured. Sleek, seductive, and always fresh, Luna Tuna guarantees a deep, satisfying experience with every indulgent taste. Taste the stars in every bite.