The Naughty List
$999.99
This list is opt in.
Pay your way onto it and you are officially invited to the fun! Participate in the mischief,
indulgence, and the kind of naughty moments that do not happen by accident.
NOTE: Santa will be attending
Time to Wand'er
$29.99
A sleek, cosmic wand that glows to life on command. Perfect for setting the mood with just a flick of the wrist. Discreet, dramatic, and undeniably powerful. Use responsibly. 😏
The Counter Toaster
$39.99
Sleek and unapologetically minimalist, this striking purple toaster exists for one purpose: making toast. But be warned, it must remain on the counter at all times. Toast wisely.
Lozpak Spreadable
$9.99
Rich, creamy, and dangerously smooth. Lozpak melts in your mouth and on whatever else you fancy.
Slather, drizzle, or indulge straight from the tub, because good things are meant to be spread.
Note: Also available "Lightly Salted". 😉
Lozvax™
$69.69
Suffering from Lozorrhea? The uncontrollable urge to misspell werds, twist evry sentence into an innuendo, and rendar normal conversations utterly inappropriate? Lozvax™ is here to help.
Loz's Toe Wine
$420
Bold, twisted, and aged like your worst regrets. Toe Wine is the only bottle that dares you to dip a toe in, literally. Refined yet repulsive. Drink up. Or don’t. Either way, it’s watching.
Luna Tuna
$5.99
Inspired by the legendary lady of the night, Luna Star, this succulent delight is packed tight and ready to be devoured. Sleek, seductive, and always fresh. Taste the stars in every bite.
Cool 'n' Quiver
$49.99
Engineered for laptops, loved by laps, the Cool 'n' Quiver combines powerful cooling with just the right amount of strategic vibration. Whether battling thermal throttling or just feeling a little tense, this sleek mat keeps your device cool while heating things up underneath.
Lozwater
$29.99 $9.99
Bottled at the source, this cursed concoction smells like fermented despair.
Also available in lavender!
Note: We recommend ordering a box of Lozvax™ with this product.